[ It sure is a load of crap, but she's not going to actually say that, so instead she just gives him a thumbs up and an attempt to be reassuring. Besides... her issues are insignificant compared to the others. They don't actually matter. ]
And there's no need for that. I never needed to lean on people back in the Foundation, so why should I change that now?
[ She wears a rather weary, but also rather bitter smile while saying those words. ]
[He's torn. On one hand, he understands how uncomfortable it can be to talk about personal matters. On the other, that smile stands in such clear contrast to her words that he can't help but be worried about her.
So it's with a sigh that speaks, eyes meeting her own.]
We're not back at the Foundation, Inaba. And even if we were, you can't escape the fact that you've changed. I remember the girl who wouldn't give me the time of day except for the occasional errand or two. Maybe you could argue that I just never caught you at the right times... but I'm certain that the person I'm looking at right now isn't the same as who I saw back then.
You have people who want to stand behind you here, who want to show you that they care and repay you for all of the kindness you've given them. So at the least... you don't need to lie like that.
[ She still smiling for a flicker of a second, but it's obvious that the emotion doesn't meet her eyes before her expression fades into something more neutral before exasperation seems to set in, eliciting a rather worn out sigh as she chews on her nail, a little uncomfortable for a second before making the attempt to shake it off. ]
I know. [ Is she talking about the fact that yes, they really aren't in the Foundation anymore, or is she talking about how she's changed? ] But for all that I've changed--
[ Finally as she says that, knowing that they got a bit distracted over things earlier, she slowly starts to unpin the wrapping on her arm and undo the bandages. ]
None of my problems matter, in the end. So in the end, I'm fine. There's no lie.
Edited (not this icon 8() Date: 2019-01-04 04:48 pm (UTC)
[There's a shake of the head when she finishes, his eyes still boring into hers. This time, his voice is more firm, with greater conviction underlying his words.]
No, they do matter. Maybe they don't decide the fate of a nation or the success of our mission, but that doesn't mean they're insignificant, either. They're important to you, and that means they're important to us too.
[After that, he deflates with a small sigh.]
And at the end of the day, running away from your problems doesn't solve anything. It only keeps you from moving forward.
And so what? Nothing will change if I say anything. That's just how it is. Because nobody will accept it. I know that more than anyone else, so there's no point in talking.
[ She wears a rather bitter smile. ]
Because nobody would like hearing it.
Edited (wrong icon lol) Date: 2019-01-05 12:47 am (UTC)
I think it's one thing if you need time to sort through it, or you want to figure it out on your own. But if you're holding back because you're assuming people will take it badly, then that's another. So, I'll say it again: try me.
[ She hesitates for a moment, because it's definitely the latter. But she knows she's right. Closing her eyes, she takes a deep breath though her nose before-- ]
Promise that you won't tell anyone. Especially. . . not Ichigo or Atsushi.
[ Her voice is awfully quiet as she speaks, her fingers threading together a little nervously. ]
You probably won't like this either, especially when they're working so hard, but... Lately, I've been thinking about it. About not taking the option to bring myself back to life once we get that chance.
Edited (I missed words) Date: 2019-01-05 06:21 am (UTC)
He's not really sure what he was expecting, but it surely wasn't this and it shows plainly as his eyebrows shoot up. But remembering what he said before, remembering what got them here to start with... he composes himself as best he can, although he can't quite keep the sadness out of his face.]
It's a bit of a personal thing, but. . . we won't exactly be in "our own bodies", with the way the process works. Then again, we probably were never in our own bodies to begin with.
[Ah. He recalls that conversation they had at the animal café, where she pointed out that dislike. It was always there, but... it ended up running a lot deeper than he realized.]
Oh... Yeah, I guess you're right. [A pensive look and then, quietly:] So what would you want to do? Just... stay here as a ghost?
I. . . [ She lets out a rather shaky breath before smiling. ] don't know. But nobody would let me do that, right? There's no way that anybody would allow it. So the point's moot in the end. And more importantly, if I did make that option, that would be ignoring everything.
I'd be easily giving the chance for the Foundation to potentially bring the other club members to this world and have them treated like. Well, you know.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
(no subject)
Date: 2019-01-04 06:11 am (UTC)[ It sure is a load of crap, but she's not going to actually say that, so instead she just gives him a thumbs up and an attempt to be reassuring. Besides... her issues are insignificant compared to the others. They don't actually matter. ]
And there's no need for that. I never needed to lean on people back in the Foundation, so why should I change that now?
[ She wears a rather weary, but also rather bitter smile while saying those words. ]
In any case, I'm fine.
(no subject)
Date: 2019-01-04 09:53 am (UTC)So it's with a sigh that speaks, eyes meeting her own.]
We're not back at the Foundation, Inaba. And even if we were, you can't escape the fact that you've changed. I remember the girl who wouldn't give me the time of day except for the occasional errand or two. Maybe you could argue that I just never caught you at the right times... but I'm certain that the person I'm looking at right now isn't the same as who I saw back then.
You have people who want to stand behind you here, who want to show you that they care and repay you for all of the kindness you've given them. So at the least... you don't need to lie like that.
(no subject)
Date: 2019-01-04 04:47 pm (UTC)I know. [ Is she talking about the fact that yes, they really aren't in the Foundation anymore, or is she talking about how she's changed? ] But for all that I've changed--
[ Finally as she says that, knowing that they got a bit distracted over things earlier, she slowly starts to unpin the wrapping on her arm and undo the bandages. ]
None of my problems matter, in the end. So in the end, I'm fine. There's no lie.
(no subject)
Date: 2019-01-05 12:39 am (UTC)No, they do matter. Maybe they don't decide the fate of a nation or the success of our mission, but that doesn't mean they're insignificant, either. They're important to you, and that means they're important to us too.
[After that, he deflates with a small sigh.]
And at the end of the day, running away from your problems doesn't solve anything. It only keeps you from moving forward.
(no subject)
Date: 2019-01-05 12:46 am (UTC)[ She wears a rather bitter smile. ]
Because nobody would like hearing it.
(no subject)
Date: 2019-01-05 05:52 am (UTC)Try me.
I think it's one thing if you need time to sort through it, or you want to figure it out on your own. But if you're holding back because you're assuming people will take it badly, then that's another. So, I'll say it again: try me.
(no subject)
Date: 2019-01-05 05:59 am (UTC)Promise that you won't tell anyone. Especially. . . not Ichigo or Atsushi.
(no subject)
Date: 2019-01-05 06:13 am (UTC)Of course. I swear that anything you say here won't leave this room.
(no subject)
Date: 2019-01-05 06:21 am (UTC)[ Her voice is awfully quiet as she speaks, her fingers threading together a little nervously. ]
You probably won't like this either, especially when they're working so hard, but... Lately, I've been thinking about it. About not taking the option to bring myself back to life once we get that chance.
(no subject)
Date: 2019-01-05 07:43 am (UTC)He's not really sure what he was expecting, but it surely wasn't this and it shows plainly as his eyebrows shoot up. But remembering what he said before, remembering what got them here to start with... he composes himself as best he can, although he can't quite keep the sadness out of his face.]
...Can I ask why?
(no subject)
Date: 2019-01-05 07:54 am (UTC)It's a bit of a personal thing, but. . . we won't exactly be in "our own bodies", with the way the process works. Then again, we probably were never in our own bodies to begin with.
(no subject)
Date: 2019-01-05 09:11 am (UTC)Oh... Yeah, I guess you're right. [A pensive look and then, quietly:] So what would you want to do? Just... stay here as a ghost?
(no subject)
Date: 2019-01-05 04:50 pm (UTC)I'd be easily giving the chance for the Foundation to potentially bring the other club members to this world and have them treated like. Well, you know.